Poor Joseph. God was a hard act to follow.

Each year The St Matthew-in-the-City Church in Auckland, New Zealand presses the buttons of the religiously conservative by issuing a Christmas billboard. The 2012 billboard implies Jesus was gay:

 Back in 2009, BunnyFun Kitchen posted about what is perhaps the greatest billboard in the whole series:

 
The picture above is a billboard in Auckland, New Zealand. No, Christopher Hitchens did not pay for it. The St Matthew-in-the-City Church did. The Church's Vicar told the press:

"What we're trying to do is to get people to think more about what Christmas is all about...Is it about a spiritual male God sending down sperm so a child would be born, or is it about the power of love in our midst as seen in Jesus?"

Wow! A good idea! And what happens to a good idea within the world of religion? It gets one's billboard covered in
brown paint. It gets the Catholic Church to fire off nonsense like "Our Christian tradition of 2,000 years is that Mary remains a virgin and that Jesus is the son of God, not Joseph...Such a poster is inappropriate and disrespectful." And, it gets the NZ right-wingnuts such as Family First to trot out a line just as if it came from Colorado Springs, USA, "To confront children and families with the concept as a street billboard is completely irresponsible and unnecessary."

Heaven forbid that the public sphere be used for actual debate. So,let's use the blog here for a moment to think about the questions we REALLY care about that are raised by this billboard.

1. In the painting, does the fact that Mary is not smoking a cigarette mean that Joseph did not satisfy her, whatsoever?

2. Joseph's face looks like the "before" shot from a Viagra commercial. Was he not able to raise the holy spirit at all?

3. Is Joseph's lack of performance actually proof that Mary had a sexual relationship with God? Otherwise, if God loved Mary so much, why didn't he hang Joseph like John Holmes to take care of her needs? Did God render Joseph impotent out of jealousy?

4. Who's watching baby Jesus if these two are in bed trying to get it on?? We are told "not to put Jesus in a box", but what about a crib? It's like a box without a top. Is that OK?